prewife dot com. You proposed. She said yes…|NOW WHAT?

Today I was going to utilize my gift for provocative and salubrious prose in an attempt to entertain and amuse. Then a friend sent me a link to the above picture and well I was left breathless and speechless with just a tad feeling of being redundant.

Confused? Well, yes, that there is a life sized cake replica of the Bride.

I’ll leave the commentary to you!

Today is nothing but accolades as usual for the prewife. First off, she has purchased her wedding gown. Not only that, in a feat of Herculean Athenian show of stength, will, determination and love for my cheap sorry ass, the grand total came to $500 That’s right $500 for a wedding dress. That is just unheard of. Not only that, but it fit her right off the rack.
Wait! It gets better! It took her about 30 minutes to pick it out (yes I was there). Read the rest of this entry »

After spending a weekend moving boxes and rearranging our lives to live in sin move in together, my prewife and I retired to our respective evening activities. I watched a blistering seven back to back episodes of CSI on SPIKE and she read no less then five Bridal magazines cover to cover. During a commercial and when she wasn’t around, I read slack-jawed cover to cover flipped through one of the magazines and was shocked at the preparation a bride must endure on wedding day. In fact the amount of preparation the day of the wedding just for the bride to walk down the aisle vastly outstrips all the months of planning before it!
So just for my edification, I flipped through a few bizzillion pages online of what a bride should do to look her best from first light through initial consummation.

How to make you lipstick stay on until the final kiss of the day.

What you will need:

• 1. Foundation or concealer
• 2. Lip stick
• 3. Lip liner

Read the rest of this entry »