The Yin and Yang of Weddings

Weddings. Is there ever a time so special in ones…… OOps, sorry wrong script…

Let’s face it. Weddings in the best of times can be a bit a pain in the butt. However, planning a wedding when the bottom drops out of the economy can be downright depressing.

THE YIN
Our wedding is to take place on a charming island in the Caribbean. White sand, blue water, sun, me, her, all our friends, family… what could be better? We planned to keep it small, under 40 people. The wedding is on the beach, with a beach BBQ afterward accompanied by a DJ. Then it is off to the Honeymoon suite to knock-up, impregnate, make sweet music with my newly minted wife… BLISS

THE YANG
With amazing alacrity, the economy nosedived and with it most of the RSVPs to the wedding. One by one, friends who were so excited to come and frolic in the surf for a week and have a vacation while watching their friends get hitched came to realize the reality of their situation: no one’s job is safe. Belt tightening is a must. Our guest roster dropped from 40 to 13 people (including me and the prewife)

Now let me go on record as saying that I do not blame any single one of our friends. Flying thousands of miles to a foreign country to stay in expensive hotels is a lot of cash to spend, especially in these times. Personally, I am thankful we have the cash to go and get hitched.

The amazing thing about my prewife is that with all the changes and the frantic emails back and forth with the wedding planner and our friends dropping off the roster like flies, she has been resilient, taking the whole thing in stride. Quips like “more food for us”, “more intimate”, etc. grace her lips as she adroitly adjusts to the new reality of our wedding on a daily basis.

I have seen other prewives crumble into a heap over less.

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Kids or not


ring bear flower girl

So the question of the day is: do you invite kids to the wedding or not. Mind you, I don’t mean babies, which should not be invited at all (besides they can’t read the save the date card) and yes I realize that means that the mom’s probably can;t come either and that also means the husband’s of said wives would probably be brow-beaten if they came home tanked after a fun filled wedding. We all know what happens at weddings… mmm hmmm…

Cnn posted a story yesterday about how kids actually add value to a wedding. So I am on the fence about this one. So I put it to you, gentle reader. Sound off about whether you think having rug rats children attend a destination wedding that IS NOT Disney is a good idea or sheer Folly.

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Gift Baskets

Gift baskets

“What the hell are gift baskets?” you are probably asking yourself right about now. I know I did when I first heard the mere whisper of “gift baskets” drifting into the TV room, disturbing my Golf Watching. At first I thought it was for the wedding shower (Shower? Really? ummm…Ok..) but then I realized that these were going to be gift baskets for the 40 or so guests we had invited to our wedding…on an Island…that may or may not have electricity. I mean it is not Like we can stop at the Walmart after we get there and grab a couple boxes of pop-tarts and wicker baskets. I also doubt very much that the basket ingredients would travel very well.

It was proposed that we could buy said gift baskets online and have them shipped to the hotel(s) in advance, but I am not sure how well cheese and salami will age in the Tropical sun. I thought, since most of our friends are single and don’t know each other (most of her friends are from the right coast, most of mine from the left) that we just toss a box of Trojans into each room and let the alcohol nature take its course. Maybe throw in a disposable camera too. Could make for an interesting trip to the photo developer.
I think I was finally able to convince her with some simple addition to nix the baskets(for the record I can’t add, she did all the math…in her head…). We can either have 40 gift baskets at $20 a pop for a total of $800, or we can hire the Beach Baby Reggae and Island band for 3 hours to play. Finally, the prewife put the whole matter to rest with a firm, resolute and unwavering, “let’s see…” which is prewife-speak for “I’m not sure yet”.

So, if we do go for the gift baskets, I’m pulling for the Trojans/Camera basket.

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Angry Prewife

I guess there a lot of things you can do to piss off your Prewife. Like cheating for one. That’ s usually top on the list. Then there is staying out late with the boys all the time. Of course there is going to the strip club a lot too. These are all transgressions that justifiably could vigorously anger a Prewife and spur her into some kind of action…Like host a baby Shower during the Super Bowl, or take the toilet seat off when she is not there (you know you sit down to pee when she is not around, so it DOES matter…)

There is a line not to be crossed however. That line is breaking into one of all Maledom’s sanctuary…Man Cave the Man Room, the closet full of mystery… whatever… There are lines you just do not cross.. Even if they are dolls Action Figures.

The tyranny starts below….

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Love You

You know you have done it. While watching tv or playing footsie on the couch, inevitably the Mutually Assured Disgustion of the “I love you more” game begins. At our house the escalation would usually take place with me kinging the hill as I burst out “I love you more…Infinity!”, thereby locking myself in as king lover and therefore able to demand a king’s ransom in booty.

Yeah, not so much. Turns out prewife’s don’t like to lose out on this snuggley game of world domination. So, not only am I denied the use of the word “infinity” in any more MAD games, but I’m not allowed to use the word “booty” to describe my favorite buried treasure either. That just sucks.

Found this on the YouTube. It’s a pretty funny example when the “game” gets out of hand!

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