GirlI was talking with a friend the other day who has received THE ultimatum from his girlfriend. She has decreed over text message the seventh inning stretch, that he has three to six months in which to shit propose or get off the pot she’ll move out of their current living situation.

Apparently, her sentiments were exacerbated by my own proposal to the PreWife. It is one thing to tell friends over the phone or via email that you got engaged and then enjoy the thanks from her father and praise from them for your happy occasion. It is quite another thing entirely to meet up with your paired off friends and find that after the women are done oogling the .005 carat huge rock on your PreWife’s finger, they tend to look at their own Men and make a determination that either it is time to move on and get engaged or it is time to move out. Ouch!

So, what’s a guy to do? Plenty! Really, it is easy. If you love to have sex with her cause she is freaky in bed her, well then my friend step the the plate and prepare to have your nuts stuffed, mounted and displayed over her side of the bed. It’s not that bad really. The hardest part is making the transition from free swinging single guy life to the Honey Do list. So in preparation to separate yourself from your freedom singledom I have prepared a list of things to delete, burn or toss.

  • “Twinkly” rope lights tacked to the top of you apartment wall – keep them around in case things go south. I mean single chicks dig twinkly lights don’t they?
  • Old unused Condoms – They don’t work anyway…remember? She is on the pill isn’t she?
  • Naked pictures of you ex-girlfriends – This one is a toughy. If the ex is really hot then keep it for the spank bank. If not then delete, delete, delete.
  • Season tickets to the local sports collective – Those bleacher seats tix sucked anyway
  • Your hot women friends – She will never understand that “she is like a sister to me, really…” Riiiiggghhtt

What to do if you are not sure that dropping a rock for the current woman is worth it? I think the folks at Psycology Today have some good advice

Don’t be scared to head for the hills if it feels like the right thing to do. Embarrassment and wasted expenses—common excuses for ignoring frosty tootsies—are a small price to pay when avoiding a breakup down the road.

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